Breakup Diary Day 3

Breakup Diary

Day 3

I miss him.
I guess I will be starting each entry for the next few days with those three words. I-MISS-HIM. Notice how miss separates I and him. Aside from the space between each word, theres that one word that makes it imposible for I and him to be together simply because if you take that one word, it will lost its meaning. Some things are just not meant to be together. Some things fall apart when they are together. How ironic.

I'm back to my old routine. Well almost. I woke up at dawn and prepared myself to work. I was just in time to be late when I got to the office and that's my usual. In the surface, everything is normal. But when I woke up earlier, I thought of him and I reminded myself that there is no him. I said my good morning. That has been part of the routine for the last few months but I skipped the lover-like greetings. Good morning. Just that.

We exchanged a few messages here and there. The usual hahaha-hehehe. Those words are suppose to represent laughter that you share with the silly jokes that you two share. But today, they were bitter. They were not happy hahaha. There is no laugh in the hehehe. Those words are there only to cover the hurt and bitterness. Even those words which I doubt are even in the dictionary, even those are lies.

I had hopes that today will be easier and I guess it is. A little. It's easier by the day but it's still not easy. I'm hanging on to every message I receive from him hoping that there is something in there that would show at least a little regret from him or maybe a little sadness that we are parting ways and maybe that would make me feel better. Maybe, knowing that it's not easy for him either will make it easier for me but there's nothing there so I guess he is fine. Too bad I'm not.

So I hang around in the pantry with my friend and her friends. Had some good laughs and for about an hour there, I successfully evaded his memories. Not completely. I remembered him in every turn but who says a person with a broken heart can't have fun and laugh with her girlfriends right? I'm trying to be happy. One way or another, I'm trying to carry on with grace and pride.