Sometimes, this feels like torture and I'm not really up to it but I have to see exactly how far I can go before my rope would break.

Why do I tend to hurt myself sometimes? I mean not hurt myself physically, no I don't do it like that. Just that, sometimes, I snoop around, I see stuff and I get hurt. Not that they are hidden from me. I have this thing of wanting to know everything even if the truth hurts bad. I just hate it when I don't know but sometimes, not knowing actually spares you from pain and I kinda wish now that I don't know anything about this particular something. I wish I was left with the misconception that I have long cherished. I wish...