Someday, Somehow

There are so many things that a person would want to do in one lifetime. So many people we want to meet, so many places we want to see, so many skills we want to learn, so many dreams we want to realize and somehow, life does not give us enough time. Life is short and exactly how short it is for each of us, we don't know.

Life is ambiguous. A whole lifetime seems too short but an hour is too long specially if spent waiting.

When I was a lot younger, I had so many dreams, so many things that I wanted to be and I thought that the only thing that keeps me from reaching those dreams was time. I always thought that one day, everything will fall into place and I would succeed, in my own childish definition of success, as planned. But then as years go by I realized that that someday I set when I was young is indefinite. I don't know when my someday is and I don't know which dream falls on which someday and that nothing, absolutely nothing succeeds as planned. It's not time that keeps me from my pot of gold, it's those little details I missed to notice along the way.

Life is not what happens to you, it's what you make out of it although sometimes, everything happens in a blur and the series of decisions you made and thought were trivial actually led you somewhere you don't even recognize. Its like you've fallen into a deep sleep and when you wake up, you wake up with this huge hangover and your naked in a strangers bed and you fry your brain so hard to fill you up with the previous nights details and you realize nothing you did seem to make sense so you gather your clothes and get out of that strange room and move along. It's like you totally missed the events of the previous years and that all you have is today to make up for and tomorrow is not even promised.

As I grew older, I dreamed less and less and tried to live more. I became older and hopefully wiser. I tried to live each day my way although I am not certain it works well for me. I started making plans and tried to set time-frames but usually I don't catch deadlines but I guess that's when life happens. It's full of surprises. I did a lot of stupid things and broke too many rules and hurt myself badly every other time...but I lived and I learned and I guess that's all that matters.